Monday, March 12, 2007
[heys e following's actually supposed to be posted like, a week ago lah.actually, make that last monday..but got no time and a few days ago internet connection got prob): but all's okay now, yay! :D]look.i don't give a fcking damn whether i'm so harsh with my words now or not, cos i'm leaving my house for genting in like, SOON. i'm really sry though. i'm pretty upset and angry now, but i just have to let it all out.i wna vent it all out.but *someone* is ordering me not to.then how else can i vent out my frustrations? i definitely don't want to treat my cousins like shit later on.. keh i will start now.
i'm just so mad today.but first i was sad.it usually happens like this.first i'm sad.then it changes and becomes anger.let's face it.i'm an angry kid with a sad, pathetic life. unreasonable too.and i always make people angry or sad.its just me and i guess i'm destined to be this way forever.
today's OT4 first outing tgth and i can tell you its not ONE BIT pleasant at all.but first, let me tell you what's OT4 and hu's in it. its One True 4, and there's the ebil, the devil's daughter, the angel and satan's puppet. (: i guess you all should know that i'm satan's puppet(: [messenger] haha.well belinda's the ebil, sarah chen's the devil's daughter and bianca's the angel(: well the funny thing is, One True 4 sounds like a very..good kinda group.don't cha think so? but the members are like, so bad kinda people..ebil [EVIL], DEVIL's daughter and SATAN's puppet.only bianca's the ANGEL(: heh. but then, my 'name' really suits me i guess as i said earlier on i was born to make people angry and sad. the other thing is that..yeah i'm sad and all.
well, back to the trip.today all of us wore skirts [HAH.] and i was late): just HAD to make bianca wait so long.pfft. i mean, THAT'S IT lah.i'm FOREVER late. is there a SINGLE day which i'm NOT late? doubt you can find any lohr. gahh.
OKAY I SHALL GET TO THE POINT. well, today i felt very bad as in..i somehow think that with each passing day i'm like drifting further and further away from bianca.and that's mostly why i'm sad i guess.she always have to hear me complain.she always have to be the one i would complain to.she must be sick and tired of me.and i'm not good enough for her.she can comfort me, but how can i show her my care? i love her as a fren.a very good fren.but its just that i can't find a way to make her happy.i want to, but i guess e other two can.i only make her sadder.
like sarah chen and belinda.THEY can make her laugh, smile and everything.but i can't. i'm just so useless.i'm just an idiotic 'friend'.
today i found it exceptionally hard to talk to bianca.and she seems to be tgth with sarah more.mayb i'm jealous, i'm not so sure.but it really broke my heart. it really breaks my heart just thinking and seeing how incapable i am.esp now the three of them are in e same class, smarties they are.only i'm the stupid one. pathetic one in a different class.sarah's in same cca with bianca, and so she can see her ever so often.whenever i feel sad in class, none of them would be able to see it.none of them would ever know.and it would be so sick to tell them just lyk that.it just isnt fair.
but i guess i should be happy.'cause i did wish once for my heart to be broken.so i may die wih a broken heart.then everyone would hate me.and that they would forget about me.they would not care at all when i die.'cause' the happiest day of my life would be the day that i die.
yeah we had some fun times tgth. [like when belinda helped me buy a NC16 movie -- UNDERWORLD in hmv today! HAHA i owe her big time man! XD ]
and we watched the Ghost Rider movie today.of course, sarah and bianca sat tgth and they seemed very happy. [ah.sry i dun wna continue le..very sad and i'm trying not to be sad now le..though i'm kinda tired and hv alotta headaches these few days cause i've not been able to slp well for like, TWO weeks.. ): ]Labels: bad day.
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 7:19 PM
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Saturday, March 03, 2007
hey guys.REALLY sry man...i hvn posted in like, AGES. today's uhm.. 3rd march and i last posted on feb19..gAhh. this week was SHIT. and i'm not gonna replace the 'I' with a '*' okay.cos it really is.[just like two weeks ago.] i mean, yeah last week was kinda shuang, cos of CNY(: but now come back, its like EVERYDAY got test ah! some days got TWO tests some more..BLEH! and yepp, i failed my chinese again, jus like i did my f***ing chi compo.this term's results are really gonna be shitty. i'm SERIOUS.you look at my chinese results and you'll noe.math i threw away FIVE marks jus bcos of a *small* CARELESS mistake.only a little subtraction can lead to e whole problem sum wrong! gAHh! history - BORDERLINE pass.i mean, really.you divide 25 by 2, and you'll get my test marks.EXACTLY. sci i like get 3/4 of e total test marks, den now 2/3.what.next time 1/2 issit?? [don't ask about the rest, PLEASE. you DON'T wanna hear.]keh.e othr day blogger 'forced' me to change to 'new blogger' hor, CAN'T republish AT ALL leh! yeah, you got that right.so guys, i'm sry if i hvnt linked you or sth..e settings are already saved but stupid blogger won't republish): i wanna change song also cannot lor. only can post.. MIGHT AS WELL DELETE THE WHOLE THING lor!Labels: sucky school life. plus stinking blogger.
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 9:19 PM
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