Sunday, April 22, 2007
Yesterday i had quite a few dreams, and they all seemed to have lasted quite long over the night. One was sth like alot of random ppl keep approaching me and telling me who their crushes are, and who they like, one after another. It was weird, but i actually listened to them talk. Just listen i guess, and mayb i got advise them on some tips ;DThen i also dreamt of the pastry on top of Country Manna's mushroom soup..hehe yesterday went there for dinner..but the pastry VERY nice lehs! Very buttery and also some crispy, just the way i like it((: was thinking abt it all the way till i slept you see, haha.Well, i did dream of my cousin too. Don't ask. It was some random dream too. But then i think it was partially because my sister and i were talking abt his character yesterday night. He's a really REALLY nice guy i tell you. My cousin. I mean, his character is really good lah. Although he;s angry with someone, he tries to control his anger. He speaks up for his own rights too. Like most of e time when his parents are unreasonable. He's a gentle guy, as in he's not gay okay. He sort of strongly dislikes gays. But i guess its understandable. He doesn't wanna be homo...And he's kinda cute too(: Both definitions of 'cute'. If we were not cousins, i would have 'snatched' him up almost immediately. But sadly we are, and there's nothing i can do abt it): But i do look up to him as a 'big brother' and a griend, although we're not so close... he talks more to my sis...He's fifteen this year and he had a girlfren before. Last year. But they broke up quite long ago liao. My cousin DEFINITELY doesn't go for those kind of bitchy girls. He likes cute girls with quite nice characters. He cares more abt the inside than the outside(: And that's one of the many things that i like abt him too. I do hope that the girls he like do like his character too, and not just his appearance. Such guys are hard to come by. I think he's like, one of the very few guys i've met whose character is just.. AWESOME. i think he's a good fren too(: And so i really hope that the people he would meet, and also the people he have already met would really appreciate him(:Talking abt e boyfriend/girlfriend thingy, i think that should anyone ask me if i were ready for a relationship, my answer to them would be "maybe". There are quite a few factors that affects my answer. I think the reason is because i'm afraid that if i were really in one, i would not be able to give HIM what he wants. And i would feel very bad. Sort of like as if i have 'cheated' him in some way. I think that if i love someone so passionately, i would be very, VERY serious about the whole thing. I guess i would be pretty frank and open with him/her and if there was sth i feel i just have to tell him/her, i would prefer a face-to-face talk with him.her. And i'd prefer that no one else is around too. I'm not so sure if i'm afraid of being rejected because i've never gotten into one before. But i guess i've thought abt it before. [ if not, why would i even bother to type this whole paragraph huh? XD ] But then i guess everyone is afraid of rejection, not only in relationships.With my 'blur-ness', who knows? lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 5:01 PM
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBB-O! debbie!! she's turning fourteen today!! ahs so happy for her((: my dear debbie.. all grown up! *sniff* just really regretted i didnt come to sch and missed out e celebration in class in e morning )': feel REEAALLLYYY bad now :\\ but wishes all the same! ;D lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 9:10 PM
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Monday, April 16, 2007
yo! FINALLY changed blogskin! yay^^hahas, well this time its WHITE. dunno why but i felt like having a white blogskin(: but then..i have to apologise if my previous posts the font colours are too light.. its not the same old black background you see.. :\but let's talk about today!TODAY. went to sch with e new haircut..and people say that i looked alot better.and that they liked my hairstyle.i was like, 'no lah...' THEN wei shan and alvona asked me where i go cut my hair, and also to help them get the address.but hor, its actually someone's hse next to my pri sch hehe. well i offered to bri wei shan's family there if she wanted but then i'm gonna find out the address of the hairdresser's hse anws(:NEXT. abigail kept calling me 'mei2 nu4'! hahas... but then i went, 'no... pls dun call me dat lehs...' eh..like i said before la, dun want so much attention anytime, anywhere.but apparently i was getting alot.. >.<
oh yars, tmr going to police heritage centre! can leave sch earlier! :D hehe.. BUT sadly i wun be able to join squadmates for dinner at Fish&Co.. dno what's dat but i do noe its a place where you go to eat! XD
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 7:46 PM
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Saturday, April 14, 2007
today i cut hair! but hor..SO SHORT! aHH... ): told e auntie to cut layer, and not so short cos i still wna tie hair.. BUT. she cut until i can't tie le..so i now hv short hair le lohrs..but then THE WORST PART is..my fringe so SHORT! >.<>
but the good thing is that now layered alot so.. not so hot le! yay^^ last time hair so thick and messy..take a really long time to dry sia..
actually tot mayb next week then go cut hair but my sis said today she going so i go with her lahs, haha. hers she layered but the length remained more or less same.her fringe she asked auntie to cut like eyebrow there. she cut like ok lehs.. EXCEPT. she looks like her head on top got sth missing..her thick top before she go cut hair heh..
oh wells, guess its like dat everytime we just cut hair.. but we'll get used to it soon(: i HOPE.
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 11:09 PM
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Friday, April 13, 2007
TODAY I VERY THE HAPPY! :D haha, why lehs? because i completed TEN rounds round e school track today! eh.. 5 rounds during pe lesson and anth 5 more rounds during np hehe..but its such a great accomplishment to meh! ^^ erms, think i ran slightly better for np de(: i think its partially bcos after rain than weather like more cooling(: but then anws, YAY!! (:
today also go anderson secondary school for a meeting for maths trail..okays la.saw a few of my church frens and one pri sch fren hehe.. two frm girl guides and e othr frm st.john! haha okok..back to e meeting.uhms, we went into this room and it was i think supposed to be a very cheerful and cosy nice room [which cheryl liked alot] but somehow i didnt really like it.. :\ it was too.. COLOURFUL and CHEERFUL for me lehs..
At first we were like, refusing to talk to each other but then i THINK it turned out quite okay. turned out sarah chen's pri sch fren was doin e maths trail too heh. they went like, 'hi!' enthusiastically when they saw each other..so good lohrs! wish one of my pri sch frens were in e comittee too.. :P
oh yars, we decided on suntec city(: gonna be a busy term for us man! cos guess both schools hv to meet up quite often le..next time rnd its THEIR turn to come to our sch yay! ah..e 'mini grps' which we split into so that we can focus on diff areas of e place we've chosen hor..actually its 2 frm st.nics plus 2 frm anderson sec de ren2 form one grp.but gang1 gang1 hao2 joven and anth person frm anderson sec didnt come..and there were 3 boys in e comittee..so cheryl, abigail and huier discussed AND EXCHANGED PHONE NUMBERS with them [but we all did with our grps anws heh..]..
o.O must be thinking what i'm thinking eh? :D haha jkjk lahs..but got one guy small sized de like very cute lehs..as in xiao3 hai2 zi3 cute..but cheryl said he very funny, and abit horny haha.
really glad i can post again for today(: two times in a row for two days! whee..
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 9:40 PM
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Thursday, April 12, 2007
They always leave me out. Whenever i try to start a conversation, they answer me like i'm some irritant. They always seem pissed off when they answer. They often laugh together, like as if mocking me. That i would never be as close as them. Like as if they would be buddies for life. They don't seem to notice if i've gone off. Only one usually says goodbye. I've taken some initiative, like one have suggested so they won't only talk abt their 'stuff'. But they still do. All smiles when they talk to each other, but none when i'm participating in the conversation.
One of them sort of 'copy' me. Since i started tying my hair, she's been letting down more of her fringe. Yesterday morning i noticed her watch was way much looser than before. And i've had my watch loose since the beginning of secondary sch life, and she's had hers on almost sticking to her wrist all the while till now.
I guess i don't really like the fact that ppl would copy me and 'steal' my so'called 'original look'. Some things, the way i do it, makes me feel sort of 'original' and that i noe i'm not copying ppl. Just like the fact that i hate people just STARING at me for no particular reason. That's why i try very hard not to stare at others too. I'm not boasting or anything of that sort. Its just really one of the things i try hard to do.
But then, mayb i shuld break away from them. I mean, whenever i'm with them, i feel such great sadness in me. I think i don't really noe why. Or mayb its just that a part of me refuses to let my brain know so i can put on this blog post..hais. But then its like if i don't go with them, i'm afraid we might be some sort of enemies in the near future.
I think this is a very short post.and its pretty much incomplete.i'm sry but i cant seem to realy 'concentrate' now i think lehs.. :\ next time. (:
[damn the stinking factotisation..]
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 5:20 PM
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Monday, April 02, 2007
heys okok so i lied abt not being able to post today..this is 'illegal', as in i'm not supposed to use com aft ten but, heh.ain't this good? (: finally can post aft a LONG time! :D okok today's post will not be that pleasant again la, sry:\ slightly horrid day, hais.well, here goes..
today i stayed back until 5 plus to use e com at sch library, hopin to find more info for e india ipw proj la.but it wasn't so..well, successful la, sadly): but i found out sth IRRELEVANT hehe.i realised that the 'i can't save anyth' prob lied in my thumbdrive): keh.so disappointing lohrs..OK! back to story.. So i went up the bus, and sat opposite this lady la [facing each other de].she was like dozing off.but halfway thru e trip, she woke up and took out a packet of crackers.guess what? She PURPOSELY let e red plastic bag drop on the floor leh! I mean, like, its so obvious she did it delibrately de lah.and she was like trying to look away.
i hesitated for awhile before i finally gathered my courage to tell her to pick up the red plastic bag.you know what THAT woman said?
"Its not mine.Can help me throw away?" she picked it up and passed to me. So of course i REFUSED to be bullied by that IRRESPONSIBLE woman and said, "No its yours.You throw it away yourself."
She angry le lah, starting to say, "Who are you ah? You should respect your elders ah! I older than you ok?" I tried to explain to her that what she was doing was wrong, but would she listen? NO. Then we stopped for awhile and she kept staring at me. [THANK GOD my name tag was covered by my bag strap ah! ]
And i smiled.guess that made her even madder(:
After awhile, going to reach yio chu kang mart station liao le, she said "excuse me" so she can go out.Then she started again. "Who are you to tell me what to do ah?" I replied, "I'm a human being." Actually, what i meant to say was that i'm a human being too.And i deserve the right to speak out my opinions. Then she went, "So? So what you human being? Wah you are..your mouth so..so..your mouth so bad ah.So rude! I older than you ok? You should respect me ok?" [what kind of respect does this woman deserve? UNREASONABLE like shit ah!]
Again i tried to explain to her.Then she said, "Yah i don't want people to tell me." [that she's wrong, i suppose. ] With that, she got off her seat [THANK GOD again, and that i didnt see her at mrt station later on too].But what did she do? She went to a group of st.nics sec4 girls and said, "Your classmate ah.So rude!" Classmate?? HAH. Well that made me felt a little angry and i felt ABIT like crying.but i didnt(: After that, at the mrt station the grp of sec4 girls approached me and asked me what happened.so i told them.Nice girls, they are(: they told me not to worry abt that crazy woman, heh.Well, actually i recognised one of em as one of my ma'ams, though she and i don't really noe each other but oh wells(:
That woman on the bus was really unreasonable lor. I really think she kinda 'looks down' on people who are younger than her, trying to exercise her 'right' as an elder. I bet she wouldn't dare to say all those stuff she said to me to an adult, or if my frens were around me. I mean, SHE was the one who started it lor. She refused to pick up the plastic bag, denying it was hers, THEN trying to change the subject and put the blame on me.
So knowing me, i sweared. Under my breath and in my head, of course.wouldn't want the people on the bus to think bad of me heh.I must not seem so bad la, if not they really think i was really in the wrong, for they would be able to tell that i'm a 'bad' child because i swear.Called her a f***ing a**h***, (: and some others heh.
but then i told myself that i was doing the right thing all along. And that God noes who is in the right and who is in the wrong. That i shall not be affected by what others think of me. For the judgement shall be passed when we leave this world. That God IS a fair god, and he shall bring people justice.
but i guess its mostly because i've become sorta 'emotionless' le la. [think i've mentioned this before but not sure hehe.] As in, i can 'block' out some emotions that would overwhelm me like when i felt like crying, somehow ABIT of me was pushing away that emotion, like as if it were kind of a 'natural instinct' le. [ at least i THINK i can 'block' out sometimes.. ] its great, i think(: cause then i won't care much abt what others think, and my life shall not really be affected(:
haha okays i think i'd better finish up my work le..buh bye! :DLabels: bus trip
lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 10:01 PM
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