Saturday, September 30, 2006
I hate myself. I hate myself for failing my chinese paper. Yes, I have failed. And why have i taken up higher mother tongue in e first place? I do not know. Maybe its my foolish thinking that i could get by 'O' levels chinese and then i do not have to study chinese for JC. But fat hope. Its useless. What can i hope to achieve out of chinese? I totally suck in chinese. Its true. Ask around. I can't even speak the language, not even close to like a natural. I can't speak it fluently. Yes, to put it simply i'm a disgrace to my chinese ancestors. How horrid. Don't talk to me about that stupid chinese paper again. Not a word. Don't let me remember about it again. Please. Because if you do, i'll break down. I'll cry---you'll see. Let me have peace of mind to study for science. And hopefully i may score. I'm just hoping for the best. The best for me which i cannot determine. The best for me i cannot predict. But there is still hope, if i study hard. Gotta push myself---not too hard though, or the next time you see me, you'll definitely see a different me. Totally. No doubt. I'll never smile again and if anyone can make me smile, you're godsent. I'm entering my darkest hours. Whoever said teenage life was the best part of life? Frankly, i do think it would be my childhood that i enjoy most. Free of worries, at least not much, and no stinking stress. I kinda really regret entering this school. There is just too much stress i just feel like dropping out. I think i'd rather go anderson or somewhere else. Not here. Definitely. Mixed school, yes. Bring on the class clowns. Girls don't really know how to be super funny, and even though i am one myself, honestly i think that girls are afraid to embarrass themselves. No offence. Just what's on my mind. Whatever it is, i really have to buck up or else.< i slept on e couch and missed inuyasha again! what is e matter with me?! let inuyasha down---twice! sad... > lost; blur; hurt was brought to life at 7:54 PM
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