sometimes i really wish i could just disappear.disappear from this world.then no one would have to take in my nonsense anymore.then no one would have to see my stupid sickening face and suffer just talking to me anymore.then the whole world would rejoice.then the whole world would be overjoyed.then everyone would have a burden off their shoulders.then no one would have to worry whether i'm alive or not.and then there will be one less mouth to feed.one less stupid person people will have to face.yes.i am nothing but trouble. Everytime i look at one particular person, i feel this pain in my heart, that she and i would never make it that far. no matter how hard i try, this awful feeling would just simply refuse to leave.and oh how my heart aches! i guess its because of this, then now i find that there is nothing to smile about.of course there are other stuff but heck! i see her almost everyday and...and...still i feel this hopelessness in me... And..and....now i'm like, tired with life.all seems weary.i'm weary.and you would notice how i'm not talking that much anymore.there is simply nothing for me to talk about.and i do find myself daydreaming more easily.like everything is happening and i can just stare off to space, mind blank, oblivious to all that is happening around me.sometimes i do think that if anyone would just leave me alone, with the com, daily needs, tv and my beloved bed, i think it would be enough for me.cos now everybody so happy, all want to talk and chatter.but i'm not and am not in e 'mood' of talking, so i do think i'm a drag to the others.but there is still school.there is still life to live, no matter what i went, go and will go through.and i DO know i have to live life to its fullest.but like i said.i'm weary.tired. and so i pray i will have the strength to continue this life i lead.and i do know i will forever be friendless.why? because i know i will never be able to make them happy.because i know that they will never be happy with me.because i know i'm never and will never be good enough for everyone.anyone.'cause i know everytime i will screw up in one way or another.hopeless.that's me.
LOVES
god
cinema bizarre!
TOKIO HOTEL
Germany!
Shōnen-ai manga and anime! (any recommendations?)
Ben from Make Me A Supermodel(:
to be single(:
lemons (the fruit itself is more exciting(: )
mum's black pepper chicken
florida's natural orange juice
fresh australian milk (Masters Pura)
soya bean milk
dark chocolate
salmon (raw/half cooked)
the aeroplane!
muruku --VERY addictive
playing soccer (defender)
WISHES
;new mp3 player
;more nice coloured shirts
;black skinny jeans!
;dog collar!
;shoes- with at least a buckle and chains(:
;shoes- to match my striped long socks
;for eyeliner to look better on me.
;a COOL haircut. :D
;new guitar!
;cd- ZIMMER 483.
;a best friend who takes me as hers too.
;a new idol! [desperate.]
;a friend to love.
;FOR TOKIO HOTEL TO COME TO S'PORE.
;for guys to like me only as a FRIEND.
;to be a pilot :D
;good grades [duhh.]
;more money xD
;parents to not quarrel anymore
;more people getting to know the Lord((:
;lotsa cds that i like(:
;more FOOD!
[sngs_npcc]
